In a world which labels everybody as a success or failure, it is very easy for your child to fall into the rat race, and be ecstatic about successes and go to any length to achieve it; and be equally disappointed by the smallest of failures and sink into depression or indulge in violent activities. One of the important lessons you can impart to your child, in the art of living is to handle success and failure in a correct way and not let it rule his life.
Here are a few tips:
1. Teach your child from a very young age, that success and failure are like two sides of the same coin and that both go hand in hand. It would help your child to remember that “even this shall pass”. This will help him view failure as a transitory stage, and not something that he is doomed to live with forever. What your child should focus at this point is how to do better next time rather than think about why he did not win.
2. Emphasize the importance of learning and trying rather than on the final outcome in terms of marks and grades. The ability to see how his current efforts fit in the bigger scheme of things will encourage him to set his own goals and works towards it. Teach him to put in his best effort and leave no stone unturned in his effort to achieve the goals that he has set for himself, but never insist that he comes first . When your child understands that it is his effort that you are appreciating, then he will also be in a better frame of mind to accept the results, whatever they may be.
3. Don’t label you child’s abilities. Your casual remark that your son is a poor speller or that mathematics is not one of his strong points is almost like a silent permission from you to stop trying. Lay stress on the subject rather than his abilities. For instance say “This seems like a difficult word, why don’t try splitting it?”. Constant affirmation from you that nothing is impossible, if he puts in the right kind of effort, will work wonders on how he handles disappointments later on.