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As your baby grows older he or she is going to develop what we commonly refer to as a ‘Personality. ‘He is going to make new friends, like certain people he likes more than others, share his toys, feel sorry for something he has done wrong, feel angry and frustrated. The rise of new emotions and character traits in your toddler is the beginning of his social skills.
How he develops his social skills is largely dependent on the atmosphere at home and the number of caregivers associated with his life. In Indian families, the arrival of a baby is an event which pulls the members of the family together to share the joint responsibility of raising the child. Right from the oldest grandmother to the youngest niece, everybody will have an opinion on how your toddler ought to be raised. No matter how many people love your child, you are ultimately the parent. Raising the toddler right is your responsibility. Involve everybody in your thought process and make sure they are on board with developing the social skills of your toddler in the right manner.
Tips to encourage your toddler to become more social
Since the concept of day care has not yet gathered stem in India, most Indian babies, even those of working couples, spend more time at home with their grandparents, aunts and uncles who love to pamper and spoil the baby. The result is that once the baby turns two and starts grasping the basics of a social interaction, he learns that he can have his way. He does not learn the importance of sharing and how to take denial in stride.
Here’s how you can encourage your toddler to be more sociable
1. Enlist his help
Unless you son or daughter is a superhero, you cannot task him with things like cleaning the house or cooking or anything else. The idea here is to make your toddler feel that he is helping you out. Ask him to fetch smaller things for you. Remember to thank him for it. This way he will learn that helping is a good thing and he will be tempted to try it with his peers
2. Encourage polite behaviour
Remember to appreciate your toddler every time she or he says ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Ask the other care givers in the family to do the same. Express displeasure when there is a demand instead of a request.
3. Encourage your toddler to play with other children
It is always a great idea for your child to spend more time with children of his age group. It is with them that he will learn how to share and how to tackle refusal
4. Do not ignore your child
Whenever you have friends or relatives visiting, do not ignore your child. Your child is at a sensitive age and ignorance can make him more shy or withdrawn
Some babies are born shy. They are more attached to their caregivers and parents and are not very welcoming of strangers. Even children of their age do not help to bring them out of their shell. Be patient with such a baby. Encourage him gently. Let him know it is safe to play with other children. Appreciate him every time he takes a bold step. A nurturing and loving attitude can help your shy child become a little more outgoing.
A sad necessity of urban Indian communities today – the need to organise 'play dates.' Given the lack of space to simply play in a garden or in the apartment play area, parents have to take the initiative to plan organised play sessions for their toddlers. But, these can be very beneficial. You can get children together to play from the tender age of one and a half! Of course, for the longest while, toddlers will play alongside each other, not so much with each other. And yet, these play dates can be an important milestone in the socialisation of kids, teaching them to share, give and take, control anger, delay gratification, and simply revel in the company of other children and learn from one another. In time, children will begin to actually play together and look forward to their weekly play dates. Expand your horizons – as they grow older, play dates need not be only about playing with toys at home. Take the children out to a museum, to a show; organising gardening play dates or cooking play dates or paddle pool play dates. You never know – you may soon start enjoying these snatched moments of fun, laughter and wonder along with your child and her friends!
Kritika Srinivasan